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The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions
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Adam Sandler
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"And now a buffoon's meeting with the dean of admissions at a
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prestigious college."
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Dean: "Well Michael, I would like to extend my warmest congradulations
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on your upcoming graduation and I understand you are interested in
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matriculating here in the fall."
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Buffoon: "I got a snake, man!"
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Dean: "Yes, pets are welcome here on campus. Be it the traditional dog,
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or cat, or even the occasional reptile."
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Buffoon: "One time I fed it some beer man! It was slithering this way
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and that! It was all fucked up!"
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Dean: "I'm sure it was. Well we discourage inappropriate drinking among
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both students and pets here on campus."
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Buffoon: "Fuckin' Shit!"
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Dean: "Yes, that's a not uncommon reaction to this policy. So tell me a
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little bit more about your background."
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Buffoon: "My father's a fucking asshole, man!"
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Dean: "Hmm, I see. Your feelings of rebelion are not unusual at your age
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son."
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Buffoon: "My mother's a piece of shit too!"
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Dean: "Well, I hope you can find an outlet for your hostility over the
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summer so you can come to school in the fall relaxed and ready to
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learn."
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Buffoon: "My teacher in high school was a stupid bitch, man! She had her
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head way up her ass!"
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Dean: "Well the quality of the faculty at a University such as ours far
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exceeds that of a local public high school."
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Buffoon: "Your secretary's a real fat bitch, man!"
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Dean: "Yes, she's tried many diets over the years with minimal success."
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Buffoon: "I had diarhea last month. I had to shit all fucking day!"
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Dean: "Uh huh, Well we all get the occasional stomach bug, never a
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pleasurable experience. So have you given any thought to your choice of
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major?"
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Buffoon: "I've got a big fucking boner right now."
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Dean: "I see. Well sexual arrousal is not uncommon during periods of
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nervous tension. I do not take offense."
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Buffoon: "One time I ate my neighbors shit!"
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Dean: "That's understandable. Well, I enjoyed meeting you. We'll be
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sending you our decision by the end of the month."
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Buffoon: "I bet you got really hairy balls."
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Dean: "Yes, it's a veritable forest down there. Bye bye."
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