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Searching for a Former Clarity
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Against Me!
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1
No, the doctors didn't tell you that you were dying
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They just collected their money and sent you on your way
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But you knew all along, went on pretending nothing was wrong
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You said I will keep my focus until the end
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And in the journal you kept by the side of your bed
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You wrote nightly an aspiration of developing as an author
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Confessing childhood secrets of dressing up in women's clothes
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Compulsions you never knew the reasons to
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Will everyone you ever meet or love
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Be just a relationship based on a false presumption?
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Despite everyone you ever meet or ever love
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In the end, will you be all alone?
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As the disease spread slowly through your body
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Pumped by your heart to the tips of your arms and your legs
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Your greatest fear was that your mind wouldn't last
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The coherency and alertness would be the first things to fade
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As your hair thinned, as the weight fell off
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As your teeth blackened, as the lesions spotted your skin
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As you fell to your knees in the center of the stage
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As you offered witness to mortality in exchange for the ticket price
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As the lights blended into the continuing noise
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As all hope was finally lost
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Adrenaline carried one last thought to fruition:
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Let this be the end
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Let this be the last song
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Let this be the end
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Let all be forgiven
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