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Grandfather
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Stephen Lynch
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1
When Grandfather dies, life will be strange
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When Grandfather dies, my whole life will change
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When Grandfather dies, I'll scream and I'll yell
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'Coz I'll be fucking rich as hell.
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So Grandfather die, don't keep me in suspense
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So Grandfather cough, up that inheritance
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So Grandfather don't, hold on another day
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I love you to death, but I gots bills to pay.
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A stroke would be nice,
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Disease would be cool,
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I'll scatter his ashes in my new swimming pool
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I'll party with Heff, I'll dine with the Queen,
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So what's say we unplug that machine.
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Oh Grandfather die, before the fiscal year,
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Oh Grandfather I, wish Kevorkian were here
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Oh Grandfather fly, just take your final bow.
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Oh Grandfather die, family hates you any how.
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For God sakes you must be as old as the Sun,
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Your social security number is one
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Your deaf, dumb and blind and an amputee
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You donate your blood, every time that you pee.
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Your arthritis acts up whenever it rains
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Your so old your penis has varicose veins,
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Oh why don't you die Grampa, why must you fight?
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You old mother fucker, just walk toward the god damned light
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Walk toward the light old man, walk toward the light old man
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Its all over now, my Grandad is dead
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A mysterious blow to his wrinkled old head.
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Before I collect a small oversight
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But everything should work alright
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I'll start working on my Grandma tonight.
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