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Funk Dagger
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Johnny Stranger
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Here's a little story about a fella from Tasmania
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called Funk Dagger.
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I'm sure you know the type.
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He's the kind of cat you'd find in a bar on a Wednesday night.
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Drunk by seven o'clock.
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Bartender has already pulled his tab.
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We all have a little Funk Dagger in our lives.
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So lets celebrate together.
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Yeah.
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Funk Dagger
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loves things that go bump
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in the night.
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Yeah, he's more than just a ladies man
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He's more than just your average hairy-chested tycoon.
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He's every man's man
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and when he walks into the room, all the heads turn on cue
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and quite a few stomachs.
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Funk Dagger
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loves things with a rump
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to pinch.
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Yeah, he's more than just a little drunk.
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He's known for his powdery infamy.
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He throws on that Van Halen on that retro jukebox
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and then dances till he obtains ecstasy.
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People are always wondering,
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Where did he get that name, 'Funk Dagger'?
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Perhaps out of an unhealthy obsession with cutlery.
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Or maybe he just liked to funk
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and go for a ride on that rainbow-colored centipede.
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Funk Dagger, oh funk in the night!
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Yeah, he's more than just a Superhero.
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He has no fear of Kryptonite.
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He'll expel all the villains with a thrust of his hips
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and his bulbous belly will jiggle while he twists.
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Funk Dagger, oh funk in the night!
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So the moral of the story kids is: Don't do drugs.
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Or at least any of those tasty illegal ones.
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The kind that'll make you stutter and stagger.
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The kind that'll turn you into Funk Dagger.
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