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Kneejerk
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1
and so at last i can look
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peeking through wired
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and crisscross fingers
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at these marks that we made
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knife blade deep in the wood.
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we thought we'd marked our names
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to last through all the years
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a record of our aspirations.
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we'd come back and look
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when our joints didn't work.
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i never used to understand why my father sighed.
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these plants smile at me now.
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i wish i could say i was old and wise
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but bark has started to heal
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fading like breath on a window
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i never used to understand why my father sighed
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his once-a-year friends waved away...
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i used to know the way back home
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so i'd wander for days.
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i left a trail so i could find myself
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but it faded away.
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and so i tell you this with an honesty
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i'm not sure i understand
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i'm paralyzed and terrified as i watch
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these friends slip through my hands.
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and now i think i understand why my father sighed:
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we tried so hard but we keep feeling dead inside.
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i used to know the way back home but the memory has gone.
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and when i tell you i'll be home again it's because i'm sure where i belong.
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