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Delaney's Donkey
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Val Doonican
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1
Now Delaney had a donkey that everyone admired
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Temporarily lazy and permanently tired
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A leg at every corner balancing his head
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And a tail to let you know which end he wanted to be fed
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Riley slyly said we've underrated it, why not train it, then they took a rag
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They rubbed it, scrubbed it, they oiled and embrocated it
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Got it at the post and when the starter dropped the flag
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There was Riley pushin' it, shovin' it, shushin' it
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Hogan, Logan and everyone in town
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Lined up, attackin' it and shovin' it and smackin' it
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They might as well have tried to push the Town Hall down
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The donkey was eyein' them, openly defyin' them
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Winkin', blinkin' and twistin' out of place
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Riley reversin' it, everybody cursin' it
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The day Delaney's donkey ran the halfmile race
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The muscles of the mighty never known to flinch
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They couldn't move the donkey a quarter of an inch
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Delaney lay exhausted, hangin' round his throat
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With a grip just like a Scotsman on the five pound note
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Starter, Carter, he lined up with the rest of them
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When it saw them, it was willin' then
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It raced up, braced up, ready for the best of them
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They started off to cheer it but it changed its mind again
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And there was Riley pushin' it, shovin' it, shushin' it
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Hogan, Logan and Mary Ann Macgraw
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She started pokin' it an' grabbin' it an' chokin' it
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It kicked her in the bustle and it laughed hee-hah
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The whigs and conservatives, the radical superlatives
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Liberals and tories, they hurried to the place
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Stood there in unity, helpin' the community
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The day Delaney's donkey ran the halfmile race
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The crowd began to cheer it, then Rafferty, the judge
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He came up to assist them, but still it wouldn't bud
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