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Grinstead
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Xerxes
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1
To the guardrail, to what end?
2
The tires slipped on Shelby turning towards Broadway and I thought of you then like I think of the rain like I think of getting carried away like too drunk to drive straight. And I'm alone with the lie right now, been alone for a while, and the past has half a mind to give chase. So, here I am, wildly running away, because I don't know how to say all that I've got to say.
3
Wish there was something to say
4
To the on-ramp, to the highway, to the distance, to this end.
5
I hear the sirens following me, and I don't pick up the phone. Money's tight and I've got nowhere to turn. And I don't know where you are. Where have you gone? Why did you go?
6
Is the sun too close? Is the air too heavy? Is this damp pavement spinning your tires too? Because I thought of you today and I knew not to, was pulling the trash out to the dumpster and I caught myself with a wandering heart and a sky-high brain and ankle deep in the slop and the mud and the wet-socked truth, the ruined shoes, the last fucking time, the point I'm not getting.
7
Its been weeks of this, staying convinced that things will fall into place, but all that falls is this December rain, too warm to drape a fitting sheet over this past year's face. It makes my teeth grind, it makes my jaw strain, like there's something I need to say but the incessant wheeze, the rattle of death behind my shallow breath is always caught in the way.
8
Until there's nothing to say.
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